Raise your hand if you predicted Crosby's indiscretion like a chef predicts a dinner menu. Raise your hand if it still stopped your heart and sent your jaw dropping to the floor. Hurdles in a relationship are no new concept, and when they unfold before our eyes, we can only pick a side and hope our little souls on our couches across America will magically change the course of action in our favorite TV family. Even when that doesn't work, we cry and yell and hurt right alongside Crosby and Jasmine, waiting rather impatiently for their emotions to calm and their voices to simmer and their relationship to right itself again. But we'll just say it out loud now: Crosby is far from fixing The Great Demise of Jasby, which is obvious given the mistakes made in last night's episode. (See the nonconsecutively numbered moments throughout the recap for full disclosure on how he tossed their relationship down the drain.) Good thing there are a million other Bravermans to keep us occupied until peace comes to that struggling little home.
Let's recap, shall we? (And for the OCD-prone, this one is packed with goodies: bulleted lists! numbered lists! heightened use of the em dash! oh joy!)
The Family
In a gesture to welcome the now-very-present, refuses-to-admit-his-age-and-adulthood Seth, Zeek tries a polite conversation—which ends in an angry throwdown of words and Seth's body. Drew sees this violent move at the end, and thus continues Zeek's struggle to be the protective-yet-hands-off patriarch of the Braverman tribe.
With a similar outburst, Max struggles to adapt to Gaby's new behavior rules. Pencils are broken. Books are thrown. Buckets of crayons hit the floor. And words are painfully hurled at Gaby for her methods. Luckily for her and the scandal we all see coming, Crosby enters the kitchen (it's laundry day; he somehow amassed a few loads while staying on the boat) during Max's tantrum and gives her a few comforting words and one ironically seductive gaze (demising moment 1).
On a happier note, the Adam Braverman household is focused on one thing: Max's birthday party. Kristina spends much of the episode stressing about the party details, which are even more involved because of the gluten-free police who plague her with phone calls. Most of the family is recruited to prep for the birthday bash, giving Crosby and Gaby a bonding opportunity (demising moment 3). Threatening the perfection of their partying ways is Amazing Andy (guest star Michael Emerson), the bug guy who is hired not hired hired to perform a bug exhibition for the kiddos. Though there is one hiccup—which is remedied by Gaby, the behavior whisperer (demising moment 4)—Andy, with his Asperger's and plush-cricket-giving ways, manages to wow the crowd and the family, and give a bit of hope to the Bravermans that Max could actually have a wonderful future.
While helping Kristina taste-test the gluten-free cupcakes for the party, Sarah receives a surprising phone call: Drew is in trouble, and has been promptly positioned in the principal's office for punishment. When Sarah arrives at the high school, Seth is present and waiting to be his half of the parental unit, a concept that makes Sarah visibly uncomfortable. Over the next few minutes, Sarah learns a few things:
- Drew got in a fight with a bully
- Seth taught Drew to fight back
- Seth thinks fighting back is the best form of defense
- Drew prefers Seth's parenting approach over Sarah's
Drew goes home with his favorite parent; Sarah goes home with continued worries that Seth just doesn't understand being a father.
Also struggling to be on the same page, Crosby and Jasmine still haven't made up. He calls; they argue. He shows up; she's cold and unfeeling and they can't agree. She needs time; he now needs a place to sleep. Their situation worsens when Jasmine decides that Jabbar can't go to Max's birthday party—she reasons that Jabbar needs to visit his faraway aunt, when really she just doesn't want to face Crosby and the other Bravermans. All of these emotions are confusing for Crosby, who leans on Gaby for comfort and discernment. They have drinks at a bar (demising moment 2), during which I gripped the edge of my couch cushion in anticipation that someone—Jasmine's brother Sekou, perhaps?—was going to enter the bar just as Crosby and Gaby engaged in an awkward and chemistry-filled embrace (demising moment 2.5). It is this conversation at the bar, plus the other noted moments, that lead us to expect Crosby and Gaby's banter-filled attraction to culminate in their having S-E-X (demising moment 5).
Another couple with sex on the mind is Julia and Joel, who are trying to conceive a second child. Desperate to make pregnancy a reality, Julia places a hold on their bedtime activities until her body is screaming now is the moment to make this happen. When they can finally act on the tension that has been building for two days, Julia and Joel choose the master bathroom in Adam's house during Max's birthday party for the big moment. This is all really of very little consequence except that Kristina walks in on them (hilarious) and instead of freaking out, she offers them the bed (I. Died.).
The Miscellaneous
Fresh off a hostile high from his altercation with Zeek, Seth takes Drew to the batting cages, where he uses a bat to threaten the lives of boys who are being brats. Rather than being shocked at this outburst, Drew thinks Seth is perfect and wonderful and knows what he's doing and is embracing his role as father superbly. And we all agonize over this mistake, knowing Seth's presence in Berkeley will only end horribly.
At the end of last night's trip through Parentdise, Seth and Sarah have a small exchange on the steps of her abode, during which Seth: (1.) shows an appreciation for her parenting skills, (2.) discovers his son might actually need him, and (3.) reminds Sarah of her talent at song-writing. It is in this moment that Sarah realizes she has merit in more ways than as a mother, and she shouldn't ignore that. But isn't that how it is for all of us? It's so easy to get caught up in the given roles we play as parents, children, or siblings—and to forget that our value also comes from our individuality, a concept we too often misplace.
MVP of the Night: Sarah, for taking The Seth Saga one day at a time and being patient with Drew's need to be around his father.
Funnypants Line of the Night: Julia and Joel offer to make bug-shaped cookies for Max's birthday party. "Why can't we just buy bug-shaped cookies from somewhere?" Adam wants to know. Kristina replies, "Think about that sentence." It's true; no one makes bug-shaped cookies because that's a disgusting concept that should be abolished along with eating escargot and muffin-top revealing clothes.
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